code of conduct
In summary, all Adio members are expected to treat others how they would like to be treated themselves. Adio may feel like a similar space to other social media, but we do not behave and interact in the same way. Adio is a safe space, free of unkind, inconsiderate and ignorant judgements, where we expect everyone to be shown compassion, care and consideration.
To help guide you to understand the type of behaviour we hope people will follow of their own volition when interacting with others on Adio, we have compiled a code of conduct. If you feel that someone is violating our code in a way that merits a review, please inform a moderator so that they can take action, if they deem it necessary to do so.
Our code of conduct is not intended to impose hard-hitting rules on behaviour. It is intended to make all Adio members think before they speak about the motivations behind all their actions, and how they interact with other members of our community, so that everyone can extract the greatest benefit from membership.
Adio’s overarching intent is to create a better world and, to do that, we must start not by looking at global problems, or at the inadequacies of other people, but by looking at ourselves – with a kind heart and a wise mindset. We are all human and none of us are perfect. Our upbringings may influenced our current habits and behaviours, but there is always opportunity for us to grow and do better.
Every single one of us is at a different stage in our own journey of self-awareness and self-improvement. What upsets one person may be water off a duck’s back to another. Some of us are more sensitive to criticism, others more introverted, and some are better at hiding their truth from both themselves and others. Some of us may feel anger, or be hurt or upset or stressed, while others possess a seemingly natural resilience. Our own journey is not the collective journey and each of us may react and behave differently or in a way that our own awareness and upbringing has not conditioned us to expect or anticipate.
Nobody is to blame for this and it’s one of the reasons that forgiveness is so important to the Adio community. Forgiveness stops people that you are angry with from living rent-free in your head. So, we ask that our members firstly show themselves some much-needed and long overdue love, compassion and forgiveness. Then, we should also show others a similar level of love, respect and forgiveness. And finally, we ask you all to present yourselves with authenticity. Not only within Adio, but in all areas of your own life – you will not only feel better for it, but it will help to foster those authentic, genuine connections that can help to make the world a better place.
Before giving advice, firstly ask yourself if it was requested and, if not, if the circumstances dictate that it is urgently needed. That isn’t to say that you shouldn’t offer suggestions when interacting with fellow members, just be mindful before doing so. How often do you receive unwelcome, unhelpful advice from others when all you really want is someone to listen to your woes? It’s quite astonishing how easily we find the right answers when given the chance to figure things out for ourselves. Just articulating what’s in our head to another human being can be the catalyst for internal insight and change.
The sharing of stories from your own experience is one of the most powerful tools to help others. Each Adio member has an ‘Advice’ setting on their profile, which indicates whether they welcome or do not wish to seek advice (or how much). Please check this before you offer another member advice and hopefully they will return the favour to you. This helps us all to respect the personal freedom and choices of everyone else.
If you experience any perceived abusive, discrimination or triggering behaviour from another member, we recommend that you block them, and report it to us if you feel their actions require escalation to someone in Team Adio.
Please respect people’s right to anonymity. They might be using their real name, or they might use a pseudonym. That’s okay. We all have the right to control our own privacy and personal information. Adio is not a dating site. It is for people who are interested in health and wellbeing for themselves and their families (if they choose the family membership pack) to connect with likeminded people. Any contact or interaction outside of Adio is at your own discretion, but please take the normal precautions to ensure your safety if you are meeting or disclosing personal information with someone you have only ever met online.
Some people are happy to talk openly about any problems or challenges they have whilst others would die of shame if they thought their neighbours knew about their health problems. Whilst we want to break down all taboos, we do appreciate that our members will have different views on this at different stages in their journey. To work as well as possible, we need to respect every members right to anonymity. What goes on in the Adio Health Family, must stay in the Adio Health Family!
The concept of judgementalism is not very well understood. We may all be quick to judge at times, but try instead to observe with compassion. It may be that doing so can shine a light on the reason for someone’s behaviour (and on your own judgement process too – it can be helpful to ask yourself what it was that made you react a particular way if it ended up not being a great outcome) and can help you to reframe your opinion of yourself and others with understanding, compassion and empathy.
Always remembers that, for most of us, the act of sharing our emotions or venting our feelings is cathartic – but that we are not necessarily in search of answers from others. We only want a safe space to vocalise our frustrations. Listen with love and give people the space to speak their truth in a way that works for them.
This experiential sharing is an amazing way to learn, a wonderful opportunity to see the world from a different perspective, and can be incredibly liberating. If you are annoyed by something that another member says, try and view it through a more compassionate lens when you have calmed down and got back into a compassionate state of mind. If, of course, you still believe that what they are saying is truly abusive or judgemental, we suggest that you block them and report the matter to a member of our team.
Adio is not a place for people who want to show off about how wonderful they are, either explicitly or implicitly. It is the antithesis of this type of place. It is about being willing to show our vulnerability and being open to the opinions and views of others. By talking freely about our own experiences, or perhaps by stating conversations using the words; “In my experience…” or “In my opinion…” we can share our views without imposing our experience as being the only experience.
Be humble. You may be astonished at how good this makes you feel when you get used to it!
We encourage you to be as honest as possible at all times. This demands great courage. We exist in a world where for someone to show any form of weakness is rare. But asking for help may be the most empowering thing we can do. It really does connect us to someone else at a meaningful level. Deep talk trumps small talk every time!
This mindset works in every area of our lives. Being brave does not mean you act without fear. It means taking an action or speaking your truth in spite of being afraid. Courage is your innermost strength you need to overcome your innermost fears. Often, the more you face up to your fears, the less scary they become. Over time, the power of real honesty accumulates and empowers us. Try it out and be a bit braver today – what have you got to lose? You will find the right way by trial and error. Remember, pain is the touchstone to growth, so never be afraid to just do it!
Adio is a place of hope, and hope is the first rung on the ladder of confidence. Being positive (and choosing the degree of positivity we wish to exude) is a choice for us all. While there may be times in our life where being positive feels impossible, even the biggest traumas can, given time, change us in positive ways and shape us into better, or more compassionate or understanding individuals. We urge you to patient, have faith in the process, and let time work its magic at the right pace. Avoid rushing the grieving process (whatever it is you are grieving – the death of a loved one, a life-changing health event, the breakdown of a relationship, the loss of a beloved job, and so on…) and let time works its magic so that your internal layers of consciousness can heal yourself at their own pace.
We have found that one of the best ways to think positively is to think big, and the bigger the better! Sometimes, reframing your experience in the context of an infinite and eternal universe can give one a new perspective. If looking at the universe feels too big, why not take a look at where you want your life to be in five years from now? Or three? Or maybe next month? If later today is all you can manage right now, that’s fine too. Just make sure that your future vision looks as positive as possible. Vocalising or writing down our hopes for our future can be the first step to making them a reality. Practicing gratitude is another way to get used to being more positive about what you have got rather than what you haven’t. Why not write down columns of all the good things and all the bad things going on in your life, and then think about how much they are within your remit to influence or control. Hint: work colleagues, neighbours, road users, strangers and members of your family are very rarely in your control to any great degree (unless they are very young babies who are utterly dependent upon you!).
The relationship we have with ourselves is much, much more important than anything external in terms of how we define ourselves and define (consciously or subconsciously) our place in the world. What matters is not what we perceive to be the love that others may have for us, but the actual love that we have for ourselves. Loving ourselves depends upon how much we admire ourselves (what we often call our self-esteem), which stems from the balance between our inherent principles and standards, and the way in which we behave to honour our personal code of conduct.
How we feel about ourselves isn’t necessarily something that we explicitly think about. It will always exist in our minds at some level of consciousness, and can be thought of as the monetary system of the soul. Integrity is much more than the words that we speak or even the thoughts that we think. It even lies deeper than our feelings and emotions. Our integrity is the motivator behind our character and our personality, and one of the things that makes us a truly unique and beautiful individual. All snowflakes look alike but they are all utterly unique. As with snowflakes, so with humans.
Integrity is the basis of the delivery of our personal philosophy on how we believe we should lead our life. It encompasses our values and views, our ethics and morals, our beliefs and opinions, our purpose and our passion. It is ours, and ours alone. It is the best gift we can give ourselves. That is why we must try to act with integrity at all times, and also respect the right of others to have a different belief system that means their behaviour is none of our business, unless it impacts upon us personally.
We admire people who are brave enough to be themselves. That means we encourage people to be happy with not being perfect. Perfection is an ideal, not a reality. The less we seek perfection, either in ourselves or when looking to others, the happier we become as a result of being our real, authentic selves.
Authenticity is a crucial aspect on the journey of self-empowerment. Honour it in yourself, and respect it in others. Being authentic does not mean using this as an excuse to cover behaviour that is upsetting to others. Whilst it is true that if someone activates our buttons that they should not do so, it is better to think about why they are pushing our buttons and use this insight to deal with internal issues we may not consciously be aware of.
Parents always seem to be good at pushing our buttons, even decades after we have grown up and left home. Why is that? Well, the answer to that question will set you free. It will allow you to see your parents as people rather than as gods. You cannot change them, but in understanding them, you can change yourself, and then in turn you can perhaps show them compassion, kindness and tolerance in a way that never seemed possible previously.
We encourage all of our members to practice an attitude of openness. Your views should be thought of as right for you right now, and that’s all. You might change your mind in ten years (or ten minutes!) and decide that they might be wrong, and that’s totally fine and normal to do so.
We all learn more deeply and more quickly when we approach life with an open mind. Rather than trying to defend our truth as being a universal truth, it is better to think of our truth as being our personal truth at this moment in time. This then give ourselves the opportunity to grow. When we are open to growth, there is nothing in our current truth to defend, as circumstances or evidence may change those beliefs in a moment. When entering a discussion with someone else, rather than trying to impose your opinions on them, why not just listen to their opinions and consider whether you can borrow any wisdom to evolve your truth? You already know what you know, so why bother stating it? We find it is always better to discuss things with other people with this mindset.
During our lives, we can hold entirely contrary views that may alternate many times, until we finally settle in a place that feels right for us. An open mind gives us the space to take other opinions on board, in order to refine and define our own truth. But our truth is not there to be imposed on others. Some people seem to find their own truth effortlessly at a very young age; we all know of old souls in young bodies. But truth is not comparative or comparable. We can be inspired by others, but we should only look to regulate and improve ourselves.
Approaching life with an open mind and with an open heart is the best way to grow and learn from the thoughts, philosophies and experiences of others. This will enhance rather than dilute your own eternal truth, and it gives others the space to live their truth too. You will find that this naturally leads to deeper, better, close relationships with others who act in the same way too.
Adio is meant to be fun! That’s what it it’s all about. Behaving in a way that is aligned with our code of conduct is designed to create a joyful, happy and welcoming community. Being thoughtful towards others, respecting their privacy, showing compassion, having the strength to be both humble and brave, practising being a more positive person, becoming a person of integrity who is proud of how they act, being true to who you really are, and being open to the opinions of others – these are all powerful tools that will deepen and broaden your true happiness.
Happiness is not something that money can buy, nor can it be given to you by another person. It is both a state of mind and a sense of positive achievement. It is a currency that we should all value. Of course, money is a necessary evil in our world. It is hard to be happy when you are starving or homeless. But, at the same time, some of the happiest people in the world are those with next to nothing who live in the most horrendous conditions. How is this possible? Because they exist in a physical community of mutual respect and support. That’s the essence of Adio. We don’t want you to show off your material world, your fame, or your power within the Adio community. We are all equal, different but equal. Judge people by the pages of stories within their book, not by the cover for a change.
Happiness, it not, however, constant. And, obviously, our state of happiness at any given moment will have a direct impact on how we interact with others – that’s why all members have the opportunity to state how they are feeling at any particular time. Taking the time to check in with other members to make sure they are doing okay can be a rewarding way to pay your own happiness and wellbeing forward to others. And if you are feeling hangry, well, it’s probably a good idea to have a bite to eat and a little nap before you start communicating with others!
Adio encourages everyone to find their own purpose in life. Purpose is all about how we wish to create meaning to the rest of our life. It is the only way we can look back at our lives when we are on our deathbed and say to ourselves something like “do you know what, I did a good job. I may have made a load of mistakes along the way, but I tried my best at all times to leave the world a better place than I found it, and I continue my journey without regret.”
Adio itself has three levels of purpose – our mission, our vision and our legacy.
- Our mission is to offer accessible, high quality healthcare information to everyone on the planet.
- Our vision is to create a global community of likeminded individuals to help us to help ourselves – the power of each of us is inextricably linked to the power of the others that we choose to share our lives with.
- Our legacy is to raise trillions of pounds to save our planet, for future generations to enjoy.
By being a member of Adio, these become part of your purpose too. But, to be really happy, you need to find a purpose that is uniquely yours. Aim to complete the section of your profile that states your goals – they can be whatever you want them to be and as large or as small as you choose, but they should take you forward on a journey for the rest of your life whose aim is to become the best version of you. We find it a good idea to state your purpose goals as short-term (mission), medium-term (vision) and long term (legacy). Your mission might be where you want to be in the next 5-10 years, your vision in the next 10-20 years and your legacy in the next 20-40 years. But you can also have goals for today, next week and next month too. We call these tactics rather than strategies. As long as your tactics are aligned with your strategies, then you will definitely be pointing in the right direction.
Purpose can be thought of as direction. Most of the time we mistake activity for achievement or skill for expertise. Yes, quality and quantity are both important, but not if they are leading in the wrong direction. That’s why it is so important to work on your purpose, so you learn the right skills to support your purpose. And then, as if by magic, all your effort becomes effortless!
Some of us are able to tune in to the moods of others effortlessly. But a space of written words rather than face-to-face interaction, like social media and our online community, can miss out on vital non-verbal communication cues. So, don’t assume that just because you are a good communicator that others see things the same way as you. As part of an online community, it can be difficult to get a sense of how someone is truly feeling or how they are perceiving your words. To get them to be willing to express their honest views is a real skill. But if we follow our code of conduct, this will encourage us all to be brave enough to trust others with our truth.
Regardless of how many digital conversations you have had, people might still not understand how you are feeling, and it is equally as hard for us to get a real picture of how others are feeling too. A good rule of thumb is to ask and then listen with your heart and your ears, and to look with your mind as well as with your eyes. Try to feel what people are saying with both your soul and your brain.
Most people simply wish for their feelings to be acknowledged or for their problems to be listened to. An empath does not try and solve their problems, or rush through them so they can then start the much more important business of hogging the conversation and talking about themselves. Instead, they listen with a kind and compassionate mindset, and this is what we encourage you to do at Adio. Sometimes people may not even be willing or ready to talk at a time when you are, and they might not welcome intrusive questioning, so please bear this in mind when interacting with other members, at all times. We find that it is often more powerful to say less and listen more. As a wise man once said, take the cotton wool out of your ears and put it in your mouth and you will become a much more empathetic person!
Adio encourages altruism. Why wouldn’t we? After all, it is the essence of happiness. But what is altruism? The best way to describe it is as a secret act of kindness. The person you have helped might not even know you have done so, and this is the best altruistic behaviour of all.
People are naturally driven to seek reward for their good deeds, so to do things without thanks or acknowledgement can feel alien and frustrating at first to some of us. But altruism expects no payment, financial or otherwise. All acts of true and genuine altruism are rewarded with an endorphin rush that you can only give yourself. Being good to others rocks!
We are introducing altruism coins to the Adio community that can be anonymously awarded by Adio members to other Adio members in recognition of their actions. These coins have no value to the giver; only to the recipient. And the only way to gain coins and enhance your reputation on Adio is by not seeking them out in the first place. These coins can be given out but they can never be requested.
What a wonderful paradox. To become respected by others, we have only to work on respecting ourselves. There is nothing more liberating than this! As soon as we stop worrying about the opinion other have of ourselves, we can devote our whole energy to just being a nice person. So be nice!
Adio welcomes free thinkers. It is the type of place where free thinking will naturally evolve and it is actively encouraged. We share equality as a core value when it comes to the inclusive nature of our community, but at the same time, we recognise we are all utterly and beautifully unique.
It’s time to start making up your own mind. That’s what will happen when you develop a personal philosophy. Now is the time for you to discover everything about who you are, where you have come from, and what you want the rest of your life to mean.
Thinking for ourselves can be challenging, but it is always the most rewarding part of a life journey. Once you have a personal philosophy in place, you become less susceptible to the negative energy of others. It is a way of creating your own brand identity. Some people call this their spiritual belief system, but we like to avoid words like spirituality as this can mean so many things to so many people that it becomes unhelpful to classify oneself in this way. That’s why we talk about a personal philosophy being your own personal bible or the religion of one. Because it’s unique to you!
By choosing what you believe and how you wish to live your life – and that means reflecting on your past and your future – you free yourself to become more present in the moment. We all know that the only place we exist (physically, mentally and emotionally) is right here, right now, but often we are so lost in anxiety about what’s going to happen in the future, or depressed about things we’ve done or had done to us in the past, that we lose the ability to rest easy in the present moment. Having your own philosophy helps you to learn to become grateful for your past, fearless about your future, and filled with joy in the present. The best way to get present is to slow down, stop and step into the now. Let go of everything, put down your baggage and just say no. Breathe into the moment, forget everything else, yawn to release tension, relax your body, mind and soul – and just be… If you can manage that for about a minute or two, you are doing well. Five, and you are doing brilliantly!
And that is our code of conduct. While it may be a code of conduct unlike any other you have ever read or seen, we encourage you to think about then intention of each of the 14 codes. Do our words resonate with you? Or can you evolve them to mean more to you? We encourage you to check in with yourself from time to time to see how many of these desired behaviours you are consciously respecting, and how well you are doing so. The more you practice, the more they will filter into other, wider aspects of your life.
When you take these principles on board as an active member of Adio, the more you will experience and find the value in them. There are currently 14 concepts – why not try and practice a different one every day?